i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
