i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I love having hate sex.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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