Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
