This girl is more easily done than said...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
