she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
