please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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