I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We are two peas in an std pod
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
They are going to name an STD after you.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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