This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
