eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
