Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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