We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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