I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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