walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
