Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
