I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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