He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
