you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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