i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize