take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just want nice things and good sex
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
