I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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