So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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