i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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