I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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