your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
