ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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