yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize