woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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