i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
