I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
