I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
