Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
