I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize