brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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