I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i think i just lost a toe
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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