i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
