Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
