Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Vodka?
Forever.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
