Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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