I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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