Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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