who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
