would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
