So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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