if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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