dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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