Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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