Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize