THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
