Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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