pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
