Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
