I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
