I accidentally had phone sex last night
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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