At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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