I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
