In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
