Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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