So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
