You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
