the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You smell like a Billy Joel song
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
