We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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