idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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