yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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