Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
being pregnant is like rehab
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
