he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
