Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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