im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I want you more than these girls want KFC
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
